Long days . . .

The weekends in which Jill is not feeling well are so long.  Yesterday as an example.  We are up by 7:00 or so.  Holly has spent the night at a friends, so she is not there.  Lauren comes in our bed around 6:30 and we sit there for a while.  Then I make breakfast for everybody.  Then I clean and declutter the kitchen.  Jill sits on the couch not wanting to move much to avoid feeling sick.  Holly comes home around noon and I make lunch for everyone.  Then Jill and I help Holly with a school project.  Then we all do various things.  Around 4 both girls go over to my moms to spend the night.  I work out, then shower.  Jill and I watch the Blindside.  I play on computer.  We read in bed.  Not going anywhere makes the days feel so long.  I cannot imagine what the days feel like to Jill.  Ugh.  At least I am able to clean, walk around, workout, etc.

I asked Jill what I could do for her yesterday and her answer – fast forward time.  She tempered that with saying she never wants to wish away time, but of course part of her wants us to be at the end of this road.  That made us think about the road ahead . . . and all the details yet to unfold this year even on a best case scenario.  That quickly made us realize that living in the now is the way to go . . . one day at a time as we say.

I am not sure why, but I think yesterday was the hardest for me since the first week or two (which were terrible due to the unknown parts).  I feel recharged today, which is good.  Sun and fog this morning got me outside to take some pics (I will post soon) and allowed me to play with a new photo post production tool, which engaged my mind. 

To be honest, on the weekends where Jill is sick – I prefer the weekdays as I get to go to work.  Selfish I know, but Jill is always with someone (or I come home).  Again, I simply cannot imagine what Jill is going through or how slow this has to be moving.

4th treatment update

Yesterday Jill had her 4th of 8 total treatments, and the last of the first protocol.  She was not feeling very good this morning when I left, but was going to get some help from her sisters and my mom today.  If this goes like the last one, the next few days will be fairly rough for her. 

The doctor said that the breast tumor had shrunk so much that he had to use the biopsy scar to find it.  The medicine continues to work. 

1/24/2011 update

No real news to report.  Jill felt good this weekend and was able to spend some time with her family.  Her brother’s family was in from Ohio.  Our Nephew was baptized Sunday morning as well.  We received both our bi-weekly Goodies for Golightlys and a rather large home made pizza dinner this weekend.  And our daughter’s cleaned up the house last night!!! 

Jill should continue to feel decent until her Chemo this Thursday, her first at the Breast Center at St.V’s.  That should be her last treatment of the first protocol (4th of 4).  2 Weeks after that, she will start her second protocol which is also scheduled to be 4 weeks.  We are of course very curious as to if this second treatment will have more or less side effects.  The only thing we know is that it takes 6 hours.  That means with the other stuff (check in, meet with Oncologist, exam, etc) that this will realistically be an 8 hour day for Jill.  Ugh.  But we keep reminding ourselves to try to live in the moment and just deal with today . . . and not worry about something 3 weeks away.

Until next post . . .

Holly girl scout cookies

So many have helped Holly with her Girl Scout cookies – wow.  I think she is around 300 boxes sold or something crazy.  It turns out that having a mom with breast cancer help move cookies. 

Anyhow, we all really appreciate the extra effort by those around us – both those who have bought and those who have help her sell (and those who have flat out sold FOR her). 

1/17/11 update

No real news to report, but wanted to make sure we were not silent (as that can seem bad).  Jill has been more nauseous and tired after treatment #3 than 1 or 2.  Part of it is that I think she is starting to tire a bit of the entire thing.  Like anyone, any challenging process will have an ebb and flow on a person’s attitude, patience, etc.  Jill sat around a bunch this weekend (and today) and is getting rather bored.  She did get out to church and then Holly’s Futsal game.  But that was about it. 

She should start feeling better this week.  Her next treatment is the 27th, so she should end up with a week of feeling fairly good – but you never really know.  One day at a time, right?  He brother and his family are coming in this weekend, which will be nice. 

Thanks again to all the meals and help this week!!!! 

Sincere thanks to so many

Sorry . . . lots of posts today in a short bunch.

I am struggling with showing the appreciation for those around us.  Let me explain.  I am so overly thankful I just want to go on and on about what people have done for us.  My issue is that we are already at the point where we cannot keep up with it all.  I hesitate to post notes of gratitude as I will miss people, and I will miss people that helped up out in some significant way at a real cost of their own time and money.  I absolutely do not want to hurt any feeling by leaving them out or by thanking someone for the wrong thing.

I am going to do this generically.  More than anything, I want to thank you all.  We will never be able to repay this debt of love, support, and effort.  Never.

Many people have brought us meals - 2 per week for several weeks now.  All meals have been between great and awesome.  Meals have fed us for days.  Meals have had treats (in addition to the every other week treats on Saturdays).  This has made my eating healthy a bit hard, but has made Jill's directive of 'just eat' easier!  I will say that there was a box of cookies that literally gave me a beat down.  Every time I walked by they overpowered me!  All of this has taken time and money to make and deliver.  WOW is all I can say.

People have taken my kids everywhere . . . to one place, home from another, etc.  This has done more for me than anyone to be blunt.  This has allowed me some Greg time and time to do things like clean and organize the house and work on my blogs.

Our driveway has been cleared multiple times.

Out house has been cleaned.

Let me end with this - there is not a single thing that has been done for us that has gone unnoticed.  There is not a single thought or prayer that we are not grateful for.  And I know I will be writing this stuff over and over for the coming months.  I want everyone to feel good about helping us.  It makes a difference.

Jill's Q&A with the Oncologist yesterday

Jill had a sort of FAQ with the Oncologist yesterday.  He had told us up front that we will hear a enormously wide range of advice . . . and that we should always nod politely and take with a grain of salt.  He said that everyone is different and every cancer is different.

Jill can eat anything she wants.  His number one concern is that she eat to keep her strength.  Yeah, healthy would be better, but eating anything is #1.  Fresh fruit and veggies are okay, but should be washed.  Jill can drink alcohol, though she really does not to begin with.  Sugar does not 'feed cancer' any more than it feeds the rest of your body.

She is able to see people, even people from out of town, with the exception of her bother's family in Ohio, they always get someone sick.  ;)  She should avoid contact with clearly sick people.

In other words - she is to live a very close to normal life.

This post, like most, are from me - Greg - but this last part is very clearly my editorial.

I am so glad she is able to live as close to normal as she can.  I think she is really finding a groove of understanding some days she is just not herself and that she needs to rest.  Others she can do much more - but also that she needs to not go 100% even if she feels like it.  She is really doing good at working within her limits.  And doing less at home.  But she still helps out when she is feeling up.  I think her and I are starting to feel this . . . she does a bit more to help me when she is well and then knows she has to move to more the passive role from time to time.

Updated course of action

FYI, the doc said, in the big picture, Jill's treatment plan is still the same:  Chemo, recovery, surgery, recover, radiation, reconstruction.  He did want to make sure to set our expectations in that the surgery will be several surgeries.  Like a breast at a time then the ovaries.  Post chemo you are weaker and it is better to stick to shorter surgeries.

He was very encouraged with the results of the treatment so far and with how Jill was feeling.

Breast Surgeon appt update

We met briefly with the Breast Surgeon today.  He was all business.  :)  He did a manual exam and an ultrasound to check the tumor.  The ultrasound has it under 2cm.  Yeah.  So the ultrasound and two doc's manual exams say it has shrunk in half or better after 3 treatments (2 really, the 3rd was just yesterday).

Jill is a bit more nauseous in her day 1 and 2 post treatment this time, but not terrible.

She is off to get he shot to boost white blood cells now and then will rest this afternoon.

Chemo session 3, tumor has shrunk

Jill is currently at the oncologist's office getting chemo.  The doc said her tumor has shrunk and is now about half the starting size.  This is what the surgeon said . . . that we would be stunned at how fast it will shrink in the first month.  We are stunned.

Holly’s U8 Academy (soccer) team is wearing pink

Today was Holly’s first Futsal (indoor soccer) match.  Unbeknownst to Jill, the team parents and coach decided to have pink jerseys made for the team for the futsal season.   Many parents also bought these pink shirts.  Jill was really surprised and the gesture meant so much to her and all of us. 

Thanks team!!!

A clean bathroom

Some magic elfs came over on Friday and cleaned out bathroom.  How awesome is that?  Looks great.

1/6/11 update

Jill is feeling fairly well.  In fact, she basically was active all day today with no nap.  No new news to report on her cancer, treatment, etc.  Tomorrow we meet with the geneticist.  We will have an update after that.  We have a somewhat busy weekend ahead of us – but so many people are helping out with transporting kids that Jill should be able to rest and I should be able to get some stuff done around the house.  I have more cleanup and organization I want to do.  I have shelves, some bins (in, out, to be paid, to shred, etc), and a scanner (to scan documents, kids schoolwork, and so on to reduce clutter).  And somewhat of a plan.  I have taken over our on-line bill pay efforts as well. 

One huge upside of this process is how it gives one a bit more clarity as far as what is important and essential.  I am currently reading some books on the topic, along with internet research, and have started to try to pin down my personal core values.  Here is my blog (yeah, I have a blog too) post on the topic  http://www.golightly.us/?p=22

Jill went to work. Bald

Today Jill overcame her fears and doubts and went to work sans hair.  I am not sure if she ended up wearing a wrap or a hat (I left before her), but she went.  She went and worked.  Yeah Jill!  She put in a decent amount of hours and then came home and took a nap.  She is doing well tonight – currently playing board games with the girls. 

Those around us keep giving us so much love and support.  Meals, driving the kids, etc – they all help so much

our kids - so great! Will you let them know?

Our kids have been helping out around the house.  Holly has been making her own breakfast and doing Lauren's as well.  Lauren has helped out from time to time too . . . about as much as can be expected from a 4 year old.  If you get a chance, give the girls a call and tell them what a great job they have been doing.

Shaved pics

http://photo.baldphotog.com/Other/pinkforjill/15038425_nXgJ3

Meet the Golightly's, a bald couple

I shaved Jill's head this morning.  The girls helped cut some of the hair and we did it as a family.  I will post pics in a few hours.

She looks great!